Moonlight Sonata
by Seguchi Touma
Summary: (slash/yaoi warning - Lupin/Snape) Two old lovers meet once, but the events of the past weigh heavy on the present and future.


Moonlight Sonata  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I make no profit from this. For entertainment purposes only.  
  
Severus Snape's fingers rose to press against the cold glass. Outside, the snow swirled and twisted, transforming what was a familiar landscape into an alien one with its icy blanket. Between the breaks of grey clouds, lances of moonlight would cast their silvery essence down, setting up diamond sparkles.  
  
*Like fool's gold* he thought with more than a small trace of bitterness. Watching the sliver of the far off celestial body play hide and seek with the skies above, the straight line of his lips took on a hint of a downwards turn. Why did he torture himself like this? He could have been in his laboratory, his classroom, the Slytherin rooms in the dungeons. anywhere but here. Anywhere and thinking anything else other than what he was.  
  
"It always looks so cold out there from up here," a soft voice murmured from behind him. "Even when the sun is shining, and the world is warm, it always looks so cold."  
  
Dark eyes slowly left the frosted pane before him and settled on the speaker. Severus already thinned lips drew down to a knifeblade slash as he watched Remus Lupin cross the room and lean against the window beside him, uninvited and unwanted. Letting a scowl fully embrace his features, Severus turned back to the winter world beyond them. "What did you expect in the astronomy tower? Shouldn't you be off grooming Sirius or something?"  
  
If there was one thing Lupin rarely did, it was rise to the bait. It was one of the many things that Severus found exasperating at times. If he could just get Lupin good and angry at him, have an old fashioned shouting match, he would feel better. Then, Severus could convince himself that Remus truly did hate him.  
  
"I don't know, Severus. I thought the stars might be pretty from up here, but it looks like the clouds have taken them away for the night."  
  
Beetle black eyes narrowed as he gazed out at nothingness. Anger flashfired inside of him, although that wasn't all of it, was it? There was hurt as well that he wanted to vent. Raising a hand, Severus rubbed it gently against his closed lids and turned away without replying. There was nothing he could say that wouldn't come up scorching like an old acid or poison. He had almost reached the door leading out of the too small room when Lupin's soft tones intruded on his swirling thoughts.  
  
"I've never understood completely why you were so jealous of Sirius. Even now, I'm at a loss to understand the hate between you two. I'm not even sure if either of you hate Voldemorte as much as you do each other."  
  
Severus turned in his step, a slender hand tipped with blackened nails already curling into a fist. Anger flashed across his eyes as he met those of the other. "Hate? Why shouldn't I hate him? He tried to kill me. with you."  
  
The Potion Master cut his own words off with a snap, falling back in dark silence. It wasn't worth explaining, not to him. He would never understand. Disbelief registered briefly in his mind as Remus padded slowly towards him, the mild cast of the man's eyes never changing. A hand bearing gentle fingertips rose to caress his cheek, following the stark lines of the planes of his face with that same care.  
  
"I think that you hated Sirius because in your mind, he meant more to me than you ever did," Lupin replied calmly.  
  
A tremble touched on Severus' lower lip, stilled immediately. He was not a weak man, not then, and not now. "I know he did," was the hissed reply. "You stood with him when you knew he was a wanted criminal! You could have been killed, Potter could have been killed, and. You stood with him instead of me!"  
  
Lupin nodded slowly, seemingly deaf to the tones of rage in Severus' voice as his hand rose to explore the other side of the Potion Master's rigid face. "And that's the crux of it all, isn't it? You believe that because I tried to stop you from apprehending Sirius that I cared more for him than for you. That's such a lie, Severus. I had been fully prepared to destroy Sirius if necessary. I know it wasn't with what I was told. When Peter put in his appearance, there was no denying the truth. Would I have let you give me the wolfsbane potion if I hadn't trusted and loved you? You could have killed me a hundred times over then, Severus, and no one could have blamed you. There was no one else capable of mixing such a complicated brew, and who could have contradicted you if you claimed a mistake had been accidentally made? I never doubted you."  
  
Severus' blunt teeth bit into his lower lip hard enough to draw blood until a delicate brush of Remus' finger forced him to relieve the pressure. He ignored the flood of coppery fluid trickling into his mouth, his full being centred on the man before him.  
  
The doelike tender eyes focused on Severus never wavered or dropped. Remus sighed softly as he slid his other hand up to join the first, cupping the stark face of Snape's between them. "You find it so hard to believe that anyone could love you, that you seize upon the first chance to discredit that emotion and hate them. It's self-defense in a way, I suppose. Don't you think I've felt the same before? Force everyone away and then they won't see the darkness that lies beneath. I know that song and dance all too well. Understand this thought, Severus Snape: I am not leaving you. Not now, not ever. The Dark Lord has called all bets off, and whether you need me or not, I am here at Hogwarts and your side to stay. You can hate me, push me, snarl at me, or."  
  
The rest was cut off as Severus' head lowered without warning, the lips twisted into a frown moments before descending on Remus' own to stifle his words. Tastes of mysterious herbs and forgotten answers to ancient mysteries invaded the werewolf's mouth, a flavour he opened his lips and heart to willingly. A battle for dominance played out in the twining of their tongues, one that Remus was determined to win. There was something about his one time lover that brought out the beast side of him, making him want to bend that will that even Voldemorte couldn't conquer to his own.  
  
Breaking for air, Severus wasn't about to give up so easily. Parting their lips, he nipped lightly at the other's throat, leaving a reddish mark in his wake. "Damn this place for no apparation," he muttered raggedly before stalking towards the door.  
  
A badly muted rill of laughter came from behind the menacing figure as Remus clamped a hand over his mouth. Following in the other's steps quickly, the pair wound downwards into the dungeon. Meeting with no one was a stroke of luck in itself. Peeves happening on the two of them would have been chaotic to say the least. Slipping inside Severus' room, the old scents struck him like a physical blow. The acids for his work lingered in the air, nearly enveloping those of antique parchment and decaying ink. It was all the smells of secret and mystery bound together.  
  
Severus' eyes watched Lupin step into his room and take a deep breath. A brow arched as a pleased smile surfaced on the werewolf's lips. Had he been missed? Had Lupin honestly been wanting his presence as often has he had the other's whenever the moon's light caught his eye? Those were all questions he intended to find out that answers too. as soon as he was finished relearning all the lines of a body he had long yearned to touch. That was his plan right up until Remus Lupin knocked him to the ground.  
  
A soft growl filled the room as Remus smothered his lover's lips with his own. Impatient hands ripped at both of their robes, casting the tattered remains aside. Worse to worst, he'd show up wearing a set of Severus' black robes tomorrow. Either way, none of that mattered now. Nothing much all mattered except for the press of skin long missed against his own, the thrumming of that heartbeat beneath his ear.  
  
Fawkes lowered his head as his wings stretched out. Singing always did make him feel sleepy, and the Beethoven piece was a long favourite of his. Lowering his head to tuck beneath one wing, the phoenix caught one last glimpse of the moonlight. Perhaps it was shining a bit brighter tonight. 


End file.
